A rare moment has occurred. The Jabber-monkey is at nursery for the afternoon and the Hulk sleeps deeply in the buggy. This in itself is not unusual, although until recently, it was becoming less common (the Hulk must be having ANOTHER growth spurt!) What is rare is the combination of the following
- Madmummy has energy and health today and so does not need to use this time to crawl upstairs, lie down on her warped-temper-mattressed bed and try to sleep for 2 hours (during which time she might just get 15 minutes)
- She does NOT feel the desire to go to town, due to the sudden chilliness (yesterday’s teasing blue sky has turned to dishwater). Plus there is a hole in one of her black 7 year old trainers and. if it rains, her foot will get soggy. Besides, all there is to buy is loo roll and she hasn’t the funds for anything more exciting.
- She doesn’t need to prepare a meal for her and her hubby, as he is off out this evening. In his absence she can eat frozen-left-overs, or just a few crackers. Or hell! Have a zero calorie dinner and let her body feed off her own bum and thighs!
- The house is not unduly untidy or unclean, to her lowered standards.
- She feels she has done her motherly duties for the day. She fed her cubs a nutritious breakfast of Weetabix with a spoonful of honey. (literaly as the honey had solidified in the cupboard). She then successfully got Jabbermonkey to copy the letters A, B and C in his writing practice book. She has read the books she so consciously selected from the library yesterday. The flap book to her 2 year old, and the “First-Readers” book for her 4 year old. She prevented the Hulk from filling the toaster with raisins and told him to stop climbing on the plastic table, not so much because he might fall (its how they learn) but because she had only just bought it that week! She removed the hazard by relocating the table to the corner of the room. She then handled the massive tantrum that occurred when the OCD Hulk tried to lift it back to to its previous place. Having verbally enforced her decision he had lashed out and was suitably disciplined by being sent to the naught step. She later wiped his tears dry when he came to apologetically hug her. She then changed Hulk’s nappy and got them both dressed. She made a picnic and took them for a play at Nanny and Grampy’s. She supervised them eating nicely on the antique chairs- instructing (in vain) the Jabbermonkey not talk with a mouth of ham sandwich, and telling the Hulk to stop slumping, as he cannot eat a pot of yoghurt while horizontal. Indeed, her motherly skills were at their height when, with the the speed of a chameleon’s tongue her hand shot forth to catch the raspberry and cracker mush that Hulk unexpected decided to spew out.
- Madmummy does have her first annual appraisal at work today and should probably keep filling in her review form. However her afternoon brain has difficulties recalling events from the morning. Therefore she knows that she will struggle to look back through the last foggy 6 months in order to come up with examples of her self development. In any case, she has committed more time to attempting the completion of her PDP form then she has to using the lavatory in the last few days. Besides she isn’t convinced she is going about it correctly and feels that writing more before discussing the existing drivel with her team leader is counter effective.
- On other such quiet afternoons , where Hulk has spent over an hour in dreamland, Madmummy has enjoyed a soothing bath. It’s difficult to plan, but she often went without a shower and put the hot water on before taking Jabbermonkey to school, with the hope that she might get the opportunity. The Hulk wasn’t needing his nap the previous two months, so showers were back in. However, last month she had discovered that the Twirlywoos could hold his attention for over 30 minutes (thank you Virgin On Demand). Providing he was well fed and locked out of the kitchen (away from the felt tips and paints) he could be trusted on his own and would allow her a half hour bath. There were a few occasion she had to run down to check on him but then she had grown more confident and accustomed to the sounds of his pottering. She could lie in the bath between shampooing and listen – knowing the difference between the sound of him throwing a harmless plastic cupcake and her prized ornaments she was given as a wedding present.
In the last week the hulk has started up the afternoon nap again- perhaps a growth or developmental spurt is coming. She hopes the latter as her back cannot take much more and he is already 3 inches taller than his 2 year older brother!
She made use of his rediscovered naptime by having a bath yesterday. And as she read an article a few weeks ago (while having a bath) that hair should not be washed everyday (and as she had failed to put the hot water on) a bath is out of the question.
- Her afternoon was going to be reserved for the Avon order, which is due in today. This is only her second month of living the dream as an Avon Representative. She scored a massive £3.50 last month. Well it gets her out of the house. She still has catalogues to collect from number 45 and 49 and she left some at the office, but the order is not due in until 10pm anyway. She did think about adding the orders she collected in the morning. However these are located in the pushchair basket, under a plastic bag, under the sleeping Hulk. She had attempted to extricate them but the rustling of the carrier bag threatened to disturb his slumber and jeopardise the rare hush.
This rare hush, along with the other circumstances have enabled a rare opportunity. Madmummy can write her very first blog post. Now she just needs to decide what to write about….