Madmummy’s voice is horse from repeating the encouraging cries of “Well done!! Good boy! Yes! WEE WEE IN THE POTTY”. Her face aching from grinning as she repeats the positive affirmations, pointing like a maniac at the wondrous sight of urine in it’s rightful place. In actual fact she has repeated these phrases many times over the last few months. But never with much genuine excitement, as there has never been wee wee in the potty. “Wee wee on the floor…no”, she said, with a frown over a dozen times last week. “Wee wee in the potty…yes!? good!”, she said with a desperate smile. Indeed, throughout this very morning she has said “wee wee on the floor, no” twice and “wee wee on the sofa, no” thrice. After each accident Madmummy had placed him on the potty and repeated the words “wee wee in the potty”, as she held in the sigh of hopelessness. Each time he had disagreed, and showed this by going limp in her hands before flaying his arms and legs, crying “NAAAA!!” It was after the third BIG wee on the sofa, when he had no choice but to slip of the wet faux leather, that he agreed to sit on the potty. Mad mummy got on with the task of mopping up the surpising amount of wee wee (he had weed 3 times already in the last 2 hours!)She did not expect any wee to be left. When low and behold there was wee in the potty! There was a moment of surprise, disbelief and happiness. Finally! An opportunity to affirm the positive!
After a little dance in the living room and lots of cuddles (madmummy jumping around like a thing possessed with lots of high pitched praising) she then said Hulk’s favourite word. “Chocolate”. She dashed to the kitchen, searching…searching. There was panic for a moment, as the packet of animal crackers and the sweety jar was empty! But scrabbling through the cake baking shelf she found it! Two squares of cooking chocolate!! (Hulk is not fussy). He returns to sit on the potty and munches happily, while watching Twirlywoos. Madmummy rewards herself with a tea and a blog post. All the time being acutely aware that, while she has been monitoring Hulk’s bladder movements, she has not yet put a wash on, had a shower or got Hulk dressed. She has one hour to do these things (and any number of other tasks her addled brain hasn’t yet considered) before she must leave to collect Jabbermoney from Nanny’s and take him to nursery. She hopes that now the Hulk has heard the MAGIC words being said with real enthusiasm he will try to repeat this again. “Please God” Prays Madmummy.